How to Disagree

There is a good country/western song I was listening to on the radio the other day sung by Billy Dean about a couple that has split up but who still want to remain friends. It goes:

“There ain’t no good guy, there ain’t no bad guy.  There’s only you and me and we just disagree.”

Our family is like every other family — we don’t always agree on everything. And, that goes for politics. Most of us want to see a change in Washington. Yet, there are some who support the current President and will vote for him. It causes division when we bring politics up, and so we tend not to talk politics at extended family gatherings. I mean, why spoil Thanksgiving or Christmas over political differences?

We need to apply the message of the song and just agree to disagree.

The lyrics of the song also bring up another salient point, our differences don’t mean that we need to taint each other as “good” or “bad.” They are just differences. That doesn’t mean that decency, fairness and the common good are not important issues to be debated. However, when we have disagreements, we need to also factor in friendship and family.

My grandkids are now singing lyrics from the musical “Hamilton.” The words go so fast (in a rap style) that sometimes I don’t even understand what they are saying. But, a lot of that production deals with the differences that Hamilton and other “founders” of the Constitution had in putting it all together. They all were seeking a “more perfect union,” but knew that a lot of compromises had been made in order to get it done. It wasn’t perfect.

One difference or imperfection was the 3/5ths compromise where black slaves (the Constitution defined them as not being “free persons”) were counted in a state’s population as 3/5ths of a citizen for representation purposes. That policy and whether or not it should be applied as the Union expanded would ultimately lead to the Civil War. Though Lincoln initially framed the war as an act of preserving the Union, the underlying issue throughout was: “What is the meaning of ‘human equality’ in this expanding democracy?” The war would decide the fate of slavery in the United States.

If you think we have differences today, how would you like to have lived in a border state during Civil War times where families were split between Union and Confederate causes? Brothers took up arms against brothers. That is what you call serious disagreement.

Fortunately, we don’t have that today. We have big issues and big disagreements in this election, and many of them won’t be resolved in the election no matter how it turns out. But it is an election, not a war. We can take opposing positions without demonizing each other.

We will need to get along after this is all over. There is no good guy, there is no bad guy. There’s you and me and we just disagree!

Rolland Kidder

The Night the Wheels Came Off

I must admit that I don’t stay up late anymore watching TV.  I made an exception to that rule last Tuesday night and watched all 90 minutes of the Presidential debate.

It was a sad spectacle, really.  It was neither a debate nor Presidential.  It was an attack dog event put on by an unsmiling President Trump which made him look more like a distorted media reality star than the leader of our country.  There wasn’t even the pretense of a debate in terms of a civil discussion on the issues of government and programs for the future.

Being caught up in such a storm, I felt that former Vice President Biden held his own as best you can when a 90-minute verbal hurricane descends upon you.  I was most sorry for Chris Wallace, the Fox News commentator who was trying to moderate the “debate.” 

On several occasions, when Wallace tried to move on to another question, he was shouted down by Mr. Trump.  He tried to quiet the President when he was interrupting Mr. Biden—no success.  At one point, he even gave Biden an extra 30 seconds of time because he had been interrupted and “talked over” by Trump.

It was all in vain.  Listeners looking for answers ranging from health care to the economy were treated to bombast, boasts and bullying.  It was an ugly, forgettable 90 minutes and makes one wonder of the public benefit of such an event.

A conservative commentator on one of the networks after the “show” was over, was flummoxed over how future debates could continue when the President goes on a tirade and won’t let his opponent speak.  He suggested that perhaps the only solution would be to have a time-keeper control the microphones of both participants and then turn the mike off after an allotted time has expired.

I was around in 1960 for the first televised Presidential debate between Richard Nixon and John Kennedy.  It was civil.  It was informative.  It was “Presidential.”  It reflected a cross section of the concerns the country was then facing.  Last Tuesday’s performance was none of this.

In my judgment, its only saving grace is that now we know what to expect from Donald Trump if he is elected again—more of the same.  He cannot stand criticism and is not interested in input if it disagrees with his own views.  I thought, as I watched the show – it is no wonder that so many qualified people have left the White House during his Presidency.  Unless you are a total “Yes Man,” he is not interested in your views.

It is no wonder that so many qualified people have left the White House during his Presidency.  Unless you are a total “Yes Man,” he is not interested in your views.

There was one other revelation at the end of the program.  When both candidates were asked by Wallace whether they would accept the certified results of the election,  Biden said “Yes, and so will he”—referring to Trump.   Trump dodged the issue and went into a diatribe about unfounded voter fraud using the mails—though he, himself, has regularly used the mail to vote.

For Trump, when you are behind in the polls, you attack not only your opponent but the electoral process itself.  Hopefully, the public will not be scared off from voting.  State and local election officials know how to run free and fair elections, and they will do it again.

Rolland Kidder